(This is a guest post from our friend Rocio about her son Adriel. Thank you for sharing with us, Rocio.)

There was a life inside me, my Son’s life, Adriel Ricardo Vargas. He existed and it makes this “Our Story”. This was my first pregnancy at age 32. I delayed informing family and friends of my pregnancy because of the “rule”. You know? The one where you’re told, “…don’t tell anyone about your pregnancy until you pass your first trimester because anything can happen before you hit week 12…after that you’re in the clear…”

I harshly learned the “rule” was but a myth. My nightmare began the exact day I hit my second trimester. I began bleeding and no it wasn’t spotting. Cramping did not accompany the bleeding, no pains of any sort. There was just blood. I called my Doctor and he advised that as long as I wasn’t passing clots nor in any kind of pain that sometimes it is normal to bleed. I took the day off either way. The bleeding continued, lightly for about a week. One night I woke up to a soaking bed and by that time I was already having nightly sweats from the pregnancy, so I didn’t worry about it until I turned on the lights. It wasn’t sweat, it was blood. I went to the restroom and passed a clot the size of my fist. I called my best friend to let her know what had happened and we agreed to meet at the ER. Thankfully there was no wait.

The first thing the staff did was bring out and ultrasound to check on my baby. I didn’t stop shaking until the ER Dr. showed me my baby’s tiny heart beating at a normal pace. Either way I was sent to an Ultrasound Tech in an attempt to see where the blood was coming from. The shaking started again. I was alone and scared for my baby’s life. My tech turned the screen toward me so that I could watch my baby move and see his beating heart. This is actually when I learned my baby was a boy. When I was taken back to my room Monica was already there waiting pale in the face until she saw me smile. The results from the ultrasound didn’t reveal the source of the bleeding which was disappointing, but it was a relief to learn it wasn’t coming from my baby. My ER doctor had terrible bedside manner when we began asking questions. Long story short he told me, “…it’s a threatened miscarriage and we can’t do anything about it because its going to happen. We just need to sit around and wait for it to happen.” I was admitted at 6am and by 9am, Monica and I were still not satisfied with the rude ER Dr.’s answers. So he rudely excused himself and called my OB who was already at his practice. When Dr. Hedges showed up, he quickly dismissed the previous threatened miscarriage diagnosis and explained that the clot I passed was due to me laying down. So all the blood had built up and as soon as I got up it was finally released. As long as the baby’s heartbeat was regular and he wasn’t in distress there was nothing to worry about. He put me on bed rest for 4 days. The bleeding didn’t stop, but it did turn into spotting. That only lasted a few days. Then the bleeding came back. I had an appointment the following day and expressed my concern for the continued bleeding. Again we saw my baby boy’s heartbeat was normal, he was still wiggling normally and my health was perfect. As long as the source for the bleeding could not be found, and we were both healthy I had to settle for “everything is ok”. My next symptom began at 18 weeks. The excruciating lower abdominal pain. The pain was so immense that I couldn’t walk or stand and had me in tears. At first they lasted 10 minutes, but as the days went on they lasted up to 30 minutes at a time. The pains came 2-3 times a week.

On my 19th week the pains came back, but didn’t go until 2 hours later. I drove to the ER because the bleeding although already heavy became much much heavier. I was admitted and again shown that Adriel’s heartbeat was nice and strong and my cervix was nice and tight and closed. There was still no explanation for the mass amount of blood and now no explanation for the excruciating pain. July 3rd, 10:30pm, (21 weeks pregnant), as I lay on my right side and turned to lay on my back it happened. I gush of what I thought was blood left my body, but as I looked at the sheets there was no blood. I was 5 months pregnant and was told that at this point the baby will hit your bladder and you will pee. So I giggled, changed the sheets, and showered and went to back to bed.

I had to work at 9am. I didn’t get much sleep because at 12am the same night I began feeling pressure in my lower abdomen. It would last a few minutes and go away for a couple of hours. Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep. I went into work either way. Throughout the day the pressure became heavier and heavier but there was no pain so again I thought nothing of it. The pain didn’t start until 3pm and was minimal. When it would hit me I would stop to catch my breath and seconds later get back to work. I went home an hour early because I was tired from the night before. I went straight to bed and fell asleep until 12am. The “pains” became stronger and were an hour apart. 3am, 4am, 5am I kept waking up due to the pain. I called a friend to take me to the ER because the pain was immense and I knew I couldn’t drive. She didn’t answer and it was too early to call Monica. As usual I rubbed my belly and talked to Adriel and played his favorite songs and although it soothed him a bit, the pain still took over. 11am July 4th the “pain” was 30 minutes apart and I got no sleep. I tried calling my co-worker again and she answered. She picked me up at 11:30, I was rushed into Labor & Delivery at 12pm. Other events took place when I was admitted, but this is long enough as it is. I was in my gown and lay in my hospital bed alone. My on call Dr came in and clearly explained, that the “gush” of liquid that left my body on the 3rd at 10pm could very well have been my water breaking. If it was amniotic fluid it opened up the door to an infection and both baby and I would be infected. I’d be in preterm labor. A belt was placed around my belly to look for Adriels heartbeat. My nurse had trouble looking for it and I began to panic. When she finally found his heartbeat, it was faint and kept coming and going. She told me it was normal. She wasn’t lying to be mean. She said it because I was alone and scared and needed to calm me down. There was a swab test that was supposed to be 100% accurate to tell whether or not it was amniotic fluid that gushed out that night. Well,it came back negative and my nurse and Doctor were happy so I was happy. Either way I was sent to the Ultrasound lab to check on baby. The tech was so obvious. After only a couple of minutes she turned the monitor away from me and had a straight face the entire time. I couldn’t even look at her. 45 minutes later she just got up and left.

When I was taken back to my room my Dr. came in and sat at my bed. I will never forget her words, “your tests came back, you have a fever of over 100, you have an infection and if you have an infection so does the baby…the bleeding interrupted the amniotic fluid test…it was your water that broke and the baby is breached…if baby has still some fluid, you’re going to have to choose…” Ten minutes later the Dr. came back and she told me the worst news I will ever receive, “there is close to no fluid left for baby…i’m so sorry, you’re in preterm labor, you’re having this baby kiddo…and I have to tell you if he survives he will only live for an hour, but the stress of the labor might take him…” Still alone and receiving the news its as if my defense mechanism kicked in. I was in full robot mode. The shaking stopped, my emotions shut down. From then on, all I remember was saying, “ok, ok, yes ma’am, ok, ok..” at everything that was said to me. I was taken to my own delivery room. That’s when friends starting showing up. Monica found a sitter and my emotions didn’t turn back on until I saw her and told her I was having baby and he wouldn’t survive. 5:10am Adriel Ricardo Vargas was born sleeping and placed in my hands weighing only 14.6 grams and 10.50 ins. long. I became a member of a club I didn’t ask for in fact I didn’t even know existed. My journey began July 5, 2012.

Thank you for doing this. December 5th will be 5 months of Adriel’s existence and telling Our Story builds my strength even though it takes me back to the day I left the hospital emptied handed.

Thank you for sharing Rocio!