Aria Grace’s Story

(This is the story of Aria Grace by her mother Stevie. Thank you for sharing this with us.)

It is almost 10pm and a week ago I was at the hospital hoping and praying that my baby was still alive. Her movements were faint last Tuesday. When we got to the hospital nurses thought they found a heart beat. They were poking me with needles and put an oxygen mask on me. They raced me back to an OR, Chris was not allowed back there they were taking me for an emergency C section. The Dr. on call came in with ultra sound and looked for about 30 minutes. By this time it was almost 11pm. Chris finally came in there and was holding my hand. The next few moments I will never forget… My midwife told us that they could not find Aria’s heart beat. At 11pm a week ago my worst nightmare became my reality.

I didn’t understand how this could be true, she was PERFECT on Monday. There were so many thoughts going through my head. I thought it was my fault, I thought what could I have done, I should have been induced, I was being selfish. The other thoughts were no I was doing this for my baby, for my babies health, to make sure she was ready and that my body was ready. I question God , how could he do this, why would he do this, why would he do this when he knew how my pain I would be in. I was afraid my husbands and I relationship would become broken, I thought we could come out either stronger or become broken. I was so scared of what was to come next. After all these thoughts I then found out they would not give me a C section, that I would have to give birth to my sleeping baby.

At first I didn’t want to do that. It would be to hard to give birth to a sleeping baby. I got an easi cath put in, contractions started coming more often. They said this easi cath would fall out around 3am. My mom got there at some time I don’t remember, I told her I didn’t want to do my birth plan. She said why not I told her that I was already hurt enough. She suggested I get into the shower and stand on the hot water. I did and it made me feel so much better. So then we thought getting in the tub was a good idea. I did and it was the best idea ever. I felt amazing in the tub, it was so relaxing. As the contractions kept coming and coming I was dealing with them In my own way. Breathing deep. Chris was amazing through all of this helping me get through each one, my mom helped as well and so did Rachael. I remember them saying you are doing so good, you can do this. There was a point where I could not take it any more, they were so strong. I asked for an epidural, at this point I was already at 7cm dilated when I got the epidural. I got that far doing my breathing and swaying and dancing. I am so proud of my self.

When they gave me the epidural I was able to get some sleep finally, and so was Chris. I got an hour or 2 of sleep. I then said I’m ready to push, I can feel that it was time. I started to push, only after to find out that the epidural was out. I pushed and pushed, the midwife said she could see her head. Yeah it wasn’t very much of her head lol she said she has so much hair!!! I told her that I wanted to see, she brought the mirror over. Sounds weird to most but I wanted to see what I was doing. It was amazing see what my body was able to do. With ever push my baby was closer to being brought into this world. At 4:10pm my sweet Aria was here!!!! I was the proudest mom in the entire world. She went straight to my chest, and I started loving on her and kissing her and looking at her fingers. Crying a lot!! Every one in the room was in tears, I remember Kayla and rachael crying as I pushed. My mom and Chris in tears, I was thinking I’m the one pushing and y’all are crying!!

I was hoping and praying that she would be alive after she was put on my chest that the skin to skin would help. After she was put on my chest it was time for the placenta. I pushed it out, that’s when we found out what happened. She had an hemorrhage in her cord. It had bursted that day. Those thoughts going through my mind again. I could have done something. It was my fault. The midwife told me there was nothing anyone could do, you can’t see these things on ultra sound. Then the Dr. came in a little later and the first thing he said was let me see that sweet girl.

That made me feel amazing. To him it was another baby not a sleeping baby. For a moment it felt like it was suppose too. He said Stevie she is so big, with so much hair. He reassured me that there was nothing that anyone could have done. That I did everything right for my baby. He said she was so healthy, her nails were so long. She got a bath, a diaper put on her that was almost to small, she got weighed 9lbs 12oz, she got measured 22 1/2, and foot print and hand prints stamped. Her feet are so big they had to put them on 2 cards. The nurse was talking to her like there was nothing wrong. Made me happy because there was nothing wrong with Aria. She was like any other baby. I kept telling Chris I couldn’t believe we made her, she is so beautiful. We found out her head was 14 1/2 inches around. She has a big head!!! She got that from her daddy!!! Lili got there and didn’t really know what was going to happen, she didn’t think she was going to get to see her. She was excited my girls were together!!! Lili is such a proud big sister. In that moment Aria in Lilis arms it felt like everything was okay.

I will never forget when Chris first held her he was so proud to be her dad. He had tears in his eyes, that’s when I knew Chris and I would be just fine. We would be together forever. I wish my baby girl was here now with me. God has big plans for her!!! They say not to question his plans. Yes I have, I am human. I now have more faith in Him then ever before. She has touched so many lives, which she has done more then some people have there entire life. She has made such a huge impact on people. She will always know how in love Chris and I are. My relationship with my husband has never been better. We are so in love with each other. He is an amazing father and husband.

I’m sure this is all over the place. I started to write it down last night and finished today. I can not believe it has been a week. I still wish I had my baby girl in my arms. I do remember going out of the hospital I thought I am a mother but I felt like all I had to show for it was stretch marks. Most woman are rolled out in a wheel chair with baby, all I had was a box of memories. I am a mom of 2 beautiful girls, one is 10 and with me every other weekend, the other is always with me looking down on my family and I.

Mommy loves you Aria Grace Helen Michael, I would go through Labor again a million times if that meant I could have you here.

You can view the video that was played at Aria Grace’s service here.