(This is Jalen’s Story by his mother Gabriela. Thank you for sharing this with us Gabriela.)
My story begins October 27th 2012, 1 month prior my son’s loss and 21 weeks into my pregnancy. I went to the ER complaining that I was leaking clear fluid. The nurse ran and swab test and checked to see if it was my amniotic fluid and told me I was okay, but that I had an infection. She told me to wait and that she would get the doctor. About 30 minutes later, she came and told me I had a yeast infection. I knew what a yeast infection was and told her I had no symptoms of a yeast infection which would be burning, itching or thick discharge. I listened to her anyways and never given the chance to see a doctor. I went home and took Monistat over the counter.
On 11/27/2012, our lives changed forever. Our son, Jalen Gabriel Foster, was born sleeping at 25 weeks gestation due to common bacteria known as Group Strep B. Group Strep B is tested for in the 35th-38th week of pregnancy. Strep B is found in 1 out of 4 pregnant women. Normally a woman with Group B Strep is at risk during delivery, because the bacteria will be transferred to the baby at birth. However, I was the 1% of women who have the bacteria attack the baby in utero. My case is very rare, and many doctors I have spoken to afterwards had not heard of this happening before. Although I was that 1 %, I believe that number is still too high. It’s still very difficult to describe the actual day my son was taken from me. It all seemed to happen in an instant. I was fine, he had a heartbeat and I felt him kick. Then all of a sudden, I was in labor, I was bleeding, and he was gone. By the time I got to the hospital I knew my son was gone. I pushed my stomach and he did not kick me back. I couldn’t save him. The nurses told me the most difficult words any mother dreads to hear, “there is no heartbeat and you have to deliver your baby”. My doctor did not want to give the authorization for any pain medication. She said because I had two previous C-sections my uterus could rupture. I had to deliver my baby naturally and vaginally.
I was going crazy in my head. I kept begging for some kind of medication to help me not go insane. This was going to be my first vaginal birth experience. I was not sure what was happening. My doctor was nowhere to be found. After hours of labor, my son was born sleeping. The nurse was stepping out of the room when he was delivered into the world. Everyone around me just stood there while I tried to reach for my son. Nurses kept rushing in as they continued to work on me. I guess I had a lot of blood clots and they were panicking. I had to ask one of the nurses to give me my son. She was about to take him away and looked surprised when I asked for him. He was so perfect and beautiful in every way. He looked like he was just sleeping. He was still warm and soft. I held him; I apologized to him and told him how much he is loved. It was then that I was gone from reality. A piece of me left with him. I could not say goodbye but hello. I told him that I would be with him one day and to watch over us. Once the doctor finally arrived, she explained to me that I lost of my son was due to placenta abruption. Pathology report found a heavy rare growth of Strep B, which was the cause of my placenta detachment. Death report also states, Chorioamionitis due to Strep B. There is a sense of comfort to know the cause but no one can prepare you for what is to come.
The nurses kept asking me a billion questions that I was not prepared to answer. My husband had to make all of the decisions such as: funeral home, autopsy or not to have an autopsy etc… No one gets pregnant thinking they are going to lose a baby. No one has a death plan. I was discharged within a few hours. Before walking out, I was provided with a bag with a few items for my son: a picture taken of him wearing an extra-large yellow outfit, a piece of paper with his prints but not even a full print and a white blanket all in a clear plastic bag. Before discharge, I had to ask if someone was going to come and talk to me or provide me with any information for support. A social worker came and provided me with a list of resources. To make the story short, none of those places held any support groups. In Las Vegas, NV where I live, we are not a small town and I delivered by son in the city’s children’s hospital.
I was shocked to see the lack of support there is in my community for pregnancy and infant loss. That’s when I decided to make a change. I decided to start a non-profit organization in my son’s name. I want to provide a place for grieving families to come and find support. My husband and I founded, Jalen’s Gift Foundation. The Jalen’s Gift Foundation is dedicated to assisting parents grieving from the devastating effects of infant mortality. JGF wants to ease the process of loss by providing financial assistance, emotional support, and informational resources on pregnancy and infant loss to the community and provide a memorial keepsake to the suffering families. The experience of losing my son has changed me forever. I do not have a full set of prints of my son. My aunt took a few pictures of us with him. I want to make sure every family is offered a memory bereavement package with life lasting memories. I want to provide 3-D molds of their baby’s prints, a teddy bear, other important items, and a place for support groups and other memorial events such as an annual birthday party for all parents that have lost a child to come together and celebrate their angel. I did not find any support and had nowhere to go.
Jalens’ Gift Foundation will provide comfort and hope. We are waiting on our 501© 3 status. Las Vegas will be more than just a party city. I do not like to think that the reason of losing my little Jalen was for me to start this organization and help others but if this was the plan then I will follow it proudly. I am just a grieving mother making a life for my son. I will fill his scrapbook with lots of pictures of all the great things that are to come in his cause. His name will always be said, “Jalen’s” Gift Foundation. My Jalen will make a difference in the Las Vegas community and you never know where else he may reach. I just pray for strength and healing. I miss my son every day. Working on his non-profit organization brings a sense of peace. We are currently holding grieving group sessions and have partnership with a few hospitals. So when we get that tax ID, “Watch out Las Vegas, here we come”.
What happened to me in Las Vegas will not stay in Las Vegas. I am sharing my story everywhere I go, every website and promoting awareness on Strep B and pregnancy and baby loss. This experience has changed me forever. There needs to be more talk on infant mortality. This is my story but it is only the beginning. There are a lot of great things to come with Jalen’s Gift Foundation!
Sincerely,
Gabriela Foster
