Kyra’s Story

(This is a guest blog by Heather about her daughter Kyra. Thank you for sharing your story with us, Heather.)

Our first child came into the world on February 24 2008. I was 24 weeks and my water had broke. I live only 2 blocks from the hospital. My husband and I rushed to our car and went straight the the hospital. In less then 15min from the time my water broke we were in our room at the hospital. The nurses were rushing around calling my doctor and the on call doctor. I was 10 +1. Before any doctor could make it to the room Kyra was born.

They call her stillborn because she never took a breath on her own but my daughter was born moving, and wriggling. The instant the cord was cut my daughter began to die. Her lungs were not mature enough for her to breath on her own and because it happened so fast they were not prepared for premature baby of her age. There was no one there with us except the nurse. The doctor didn’t get there until after she was born and the nurse was trying to get her breathing. I was sobbing uncontrollably staring at my husband, while he stared at the nurse, and Doctor trying to get our baby girl to breathe. The doctor came over and with tears streaming down her face, hugged me and told me she was so sorry but there was nothing they could do our daughter was gone.

We held her perfect little body. She was so beautiful. She had my nose and my husbands lips. She was the just as perfect as we had imagined. Her tiny little body such a perfect combination of my husband and I. But she wasn’t breathing. Her heart wasn’t beating. She was still. We began calling family members. My step mom was an ob nurse at the hospital and she came in and bathed Kyra. She took pictures of our little angel. We were moved to another room with two beds and they let my husband stay the night with me. There was nothing wrong with her, she was perfect but came far to soon. We have mourned her for years and it doesn’t get any easier. We light a candle next to her ashes every year on her birthday. We struggle with others seeming to forget she was here and she was beautiful. She is our daughter.

We now have two more children, girls, both born early. Our oldest Kaiya, almost 3 years old, was born at 34 weeks and Ellie, 8 months, born at 35 weeks. Both are beautiful, healthy girls. My doctor doesn’t know why I can’t seem to carry to term. We are grateful everyday for our two healthy girls but at every milestone we have a touch of sadness. Wondering what Kyra would have been like and that we never got to experience any of them with her. It is impossible to try to explain to others the sorrow you feel at losing a child. How my arms literally ached for months after. Ached to simply hold my daughter. How empty you feel when you no longer feel your baby move inside you and yet have no wriggling baby in your arms. How your heart can hurt so badly that you wonder how it is that your able to be alive. How it can even beat at all. How every person on the street with a baby made your insides twist.

Thank you so much for making this movie and for allowing me to share my story. It means so much for people to know that Kyra was our beautiful baby girl. She is our daughter and her momma and daddy love her and miss her everyday.

Thank you,
Heather